Kids are so funny

[Teena]

I had my kids write about what they wanted to "be able" to do when they grew up that they aren't allowed to do now, but it couldn't be about a job (been done to death, that). I haven't seen the lists yet, but I can tell you that while they were writing, no less than five kids came up and asked how to spell "coffee", which I found both amusing and a bit alarming, to be honest.

[Jamie]

As long as they weren't asking you how to spell "Colt 45," I think they're okay.

[Teena]

I laughed, but I bet I do find something similar when I read the responses.

[Teena]

Today’s prompt was to write about movies or TV shows that people should NOT watch, and why. Here are some excerpts:

I think people shouldn’t watch the news. I think this because my dad watches it every night and he gets mad and then we can’t play video games with fighting in them.

People shouldn’t ever watch Jurassic Park because I know it just ruined my dinosaur toys for me. I had to even give them away.

Nobody should watch Hannah Montana. That girl isn’t even REAL.

Nobody should ever watch SpongeBob ever again. I think that he’s even more annoying than my brother when he’s had sugar and that’s annoying.

I think people shouldn’t watch shows where you win lots of money because my mom says we need the money more than they do but you know what it’s just fun to watch them but not if they make you mad.

You should not watch Mythbusters because if you try stuff they do you get in big big BIG trouble even if it didn’t work.


Here’s my favorite, although it’s slightly disturbing:

You shouldn’t watch Twilight. See, real vampires just bite you and you are DONE. This movie makes you think they can be nice but you try it and see what happens. Don’t cry to me when you have no blood left.

[Harmony]

I am just going to start saying "Don't cry to me when you have no blood left" any time someone says they are going to try something ill-advised. That is awesome.

[koroshiya]

that is completely awesome. i may have to make that my .sig file at work.

[bonkrood]

Best. Advice. Ever.

[Heather]

Those are great, Teena.

I had a Kindergartner come up to me one day during class and said, "Mrs. Winters, do you know what I'm going to be when I grow up?" and I said, "No, what?" expecting something like a fireman or policeman or something like that that almost all 5 year old boys want to be, and he replied, "A ninja." very matter-of-factly. I just laughed and said, "That is awesome!" and his teacher who was in the room said, "I hear there's a big market for ninjas now-a-days!" and we just about died. SO CUTE.

[Heather]

I've heard a few gems already this year:

Second grade class was singing this song called, "Head and Shoulders, Baby" and the 4th verse is "Throw the ball, baby". I was asking the kids what the verses were to review the lyrics before we sang it with the CD and one girl screamed out, "Throw the baby!" and we all just lost it. It was hilarious.

I always get those random mysterious instrument names and so far this year I've gotten "tangerine" instead of tambourine and "tampon" for timpani. Oh man, I am just so glad that those kids were too young to really know what a tampon is, or that could have just lost the entire class for me.

[Heather]

Man, the kids just keep 'em coming. Yesterday as I was teaching Kindergarten one of the girls just screamed, totally out of nowhere, right as we were about to sing a song, "My Mom wears BRAS!"

OMG, I just about DIED. I was just like, "Um, okaaaaaay, let's sing the song!"

I'm sure her mom would love to know that her daughter just screamed that to her whole class and her new music teacher!

[bonkrood]

My sister told the grocery checker QUOTE "My mom wears wicked underwear" one time when she was about 6.

[Teena]

Today's topic was "When I am an adult" or "When I am a mom/dad". Here are a few choice sentences:


When I am a dad, I will never let my kids play with knives until they are old enough to not be stupid.

When I am an adult, I will be a doctor, an artist, a rock star and a stay at home Mom.

Being an adult rocks. You get to make all the big decisions. I have to be told all the time what to do and that sucks. Sorry teacher but it does.

When I am a dad, I will have a baby boy and I will teach him how to do everything. That's the best part about being a dad because you already know everything so you get to teach your kids.

When I am an adult I will never kiss boys because that's just plain gross. I don't understand why anybody would ever do that anyway it's so gross. Also I will be a mom and have at least 4 kids, maybe more.

[Teena]

We are having a food drive right now. One of my students eyed a box of Mac 'n' Cheese sitting out and asked, "Hey, aren't we giving the food to poor people? But if they are poor, they might not have a microwave. You can't make that without a microwave!"

[Heather]

Tuesday I was at my other school and I have some kids who are in an ED/BD self-contained class that come to music with some of the other classes. So this one boy comes in with one of my 6th grade classes and in the middle of class just blurts out, "I'm really flexible!". Um, ok. So I just said, "Oh, well maybe we can talk about it after class". So I kind of forgot about it, and when the class was leaving he kind of lagged behind, then said, "See?" and totally did a split, right there in front of me. Then he touched his toes to his head. I was just like, "Wow. . .that's really great. You should be in gymnastics!" It was SO WEIRD and random!

[Teena]

One of my kids returned to school today after being gone for two weeks on vacation. I asked if he had a good time and he said, "Yeah... except did you know that you can get SICK in HAWAII? When you are on VACATION? Because I got sick and that just isn't right!"

I told him I agreed completely.

[Teena]

I got a letter from a student (I have a mailbox on my desk) that reads, "New York has been replaced by ELEPHANTS!" There's a helpful picture with a (sort of) map of the US, with "New York" crossed out and three elephants, rather smug-looking ones too, next to it.

I have absolutely no idea what the hell it means, but it made me laugh.

[Heather]

Some of my first graders last week were talking about the Halloween party that is today and one of them screams out, "We're going to PARTY UP!!!" OMG it was so cute and hilarious. I just said, "Um, I think you mean party DOWN." hehehe

[Teena]

A child I swear I've never met before in my life just crept into my classroom and said, "This is for you, because I like you." She shyly handed me a piece of paper and fled. The paper turned out be a drawing of a house and a happy sun, with the words "For YOU msr P i like YOU" across the top.

I'm touched, but... who WAS that kid? The "msr P" indicates that she really does mean me (there's even a smiley face in the P, which is how I always sign my name at school), but I honestly do not have a clue who the child is. Still, not a bad ending to not a very good day.

[KarenD]

Aw, sweet. Maybe she's the sister of one of your students and likes what she's heard from her sibling?

[Teena]

You are right! One my students just came in and asked if "a little girl" gave me a picture yesterday. Turns out it was his sister, and apparently she is impressed with the "cool stuff" her brother brings home and has decided that I'm awesome. Awww.

[Teena]

It's New Year's Resolutions time again! We did this writing project today, and here are the best responses (some I've already tweeted, but some were too long):

I will save up lots of dollars so when my sister wants to borrow my dollars I can laugh.

I will be nicer to my brother because I get in trouble when I'm mean to him even though he TOTALLY deserves it.

I will learn more how to ski because when I go back to Ski Bowl I want to be the best ski girl EVER and everyone will be AMAZED.

I am going to learn a secret language like Spanish.

I will not lie and say I took my dog for a walk when I didn't, because then I have to clean up the mess.

I am not going to do anything because my mom says resolutions never work and Dad says they would if she would just cut up all her cards [I assume credit cards, here] but she said ha ha only if you do first.

[Heather]

Oh, man, Kindergartners are hilarious. I just had them for music and this one boy was literally in the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and then when he finally came out he announced to the class, "Nobody go in there for awhile!"

I was dying!

[Teena]

On the way to recess today, one of my kids decided that it wasn't fair that Moms got all the pain in the rhymes about "step on a crack, break your mother's back, step on a line, break your mother's spine". So he and a couple of other kids started coming up with rhymes for Dad, such as "step on a hose, break your father's nose" and "step on a pear, break your father's hair". And then there was "step on a rock"....

Game over!

[Heather]

I have Kindergarten today and I apaprently had left my pencil there last week on accident and the teacher had mentioned it to the kids that she needed to remember to give it back to me. One teeny tiny little girl just walks up to me as I was setting up and holds it up to me. I said, "Is that mine? Did I leave it here?" and she just nodded and then sat down. This is a bilingual K class, so a lot of the kids still don't speak English or feel comfortable talking in English yet. It was super cute. Then after the class was over I was packing up and getting ready to push my cart out, and one boy says, "Good job, Mrs. Winters, you didn't leave anything this time!"

Adorable.