Alpha, Beta, Game!
At 10 this morning, Matt and his friend Chuck stormed into our apartment and ran for razors and sinks. It was time to shave.
Matt and Chuck are members of the development team for the new Tiger Woods. Yeah, that’s why we moved to Orlando. Matt got his dream job, making video games. So, if you are like me and never really knew what goes into making video games, I will tell you. After the initial whatever (technical term), they enter a period called “alpha.” During alpha, testers (college kids) play the game and find bugs. They report the bugs to Matt and Chuck’s team, who are tasked with killing said bugs.
Alpha is intensive and time-consuming. For the past few months, Matt hasn’t been home before 10 p.m., and they worked past midnight more than once. Work has provided most of his meals, so it’s been very much like I’m living alone again.
So in the beginning of alpha, my genius fiance got the brilliant idea that he would grow an “Alpha Beard,” modeled after the playoff beard. He also decided the team member who killed the most bugs would choose a shape into which Matt would shave his beard, to be worn to work for one day. And thus, “Chase for the Clippers” was born.
That is why today, Matt is running around town rocking a Colonel Sanders. Tomorrow, he gets to be smoothfaced for the first time in more than two months, just in time for his birthday.
Oh, why did Chuck come over this morning for hair removal? He grew a solidarity beard, of course. No unusual shapes, though. Chuck won the bug killing contest.
Vintage Jamie:
Sometimes I still tell the story of the time E tried to get me to cozy up to an alligator for a photo op. That was also the first “real” fish I caught in the Keys, many more to follow. They were good friends with whom I’ve lost touch. I really hope they are well.
I still remember the rumor that sparked this rant, but chalk that up to another thing I had no business publishing online, sheesh. It was still a shitty thing to say about me, though.
A black eye and my first (of many, many) Orphan Thanksgiving. I can’t remember whether or not I actually did spray jock itch medication on my feet, though.