I Do Tend To Win Raffles, Though
Unlucky things that happen to me:
1. This first one is for Matt and I both. If we go see a concert or a show or any sort of spectator sport, and we’re in a room/auditorium/audience with a big group of people, the biggest, loudest assholes in the entire room will be seated directly in front of us.
2. My back is super-inviting, and here is how I know that. If I am standing in line, the person in line behind me will stand exactly one millimeter away from me, if I’m lucky, but they are usually close enough to actually be touching me. Why? WHY?! I’m thinking about this because when we were in airport security lines a few minutes ago, the woman behind me was pressing her tits into my back. When I had the chance to take a step forward, I put my hand on my hip and cocked my elbow backwards to try to give myself some space, and I think she got the hint somewhat because she backed off a bit, but she still knocked my elbow with her tits a dozen more times before we were able to get through screening, and then as we were waiting for our stuff to come out the other end, I happened to glance to my right/behind me and her big stupid head was so close to my face she actually startled me.
People in lines, hear my plea. This is not necessary. It won’t get you through the line any faster. BACK THE FUCK OFF.
Of course, we’re flying from Orlando to VA/PA/OH, where they are apparently suffering through “dangerously low” temperatures, and when I’m freezing my ass off, I’ll probably be wishing that lady was with me, to cover me in the blanket of her bosom.
Vintage Jamie:
Preparing for my Dad’s first visit to Florida. Well, he’d been to Florida in his life, but that was the first time he visited ME in Florida. I actually don’t remember much about that, so I’m kind of excited to get to the next vintage entry. Also, at the same time, my Mom was in a home for a while recovering from a shattered leg. That was 8 years ago. Feels like a million years ago.