Very Short Stories
The other day I was at the beach when the lifeguard sprinted by carrying his red plastic rescue thingy. Another lifeguard dove in after him and I watched with interest because from what I could tell, there was nothing to rescue – no flailing or screams or visible panicking. A rescue vehicle with flashing lights pulled up as they helped a man back toward shore. As soon as the rescue-ee reached shallow water, he stood up and walked his way to the shoreline, where he sat in the sand. Nothing really happened after that, and as the lifeguard walked past my towel back to his tower, I asked him what happened and he replied, “Oh, he just go tired.” I didn’t know that was an option!
One of my friends had surgery to remove a tumor from her neck. When they got it out, it was SEVEN INCHES LONG. No matter how many times I say it, I still can’t believe it, and it makes my neck feel funny every time.
My dad’s hot water heater broke, and when he called the plumber, he was missing some teeth and a toolbox. He only brought with him a screwdriver and a flashlight, but Dad showed him to the basement and he used the screwdriver to remove the water heater panel and the flashlight to peer inside. The plumber said, “A ha,” and then pulled out a tube and SUCKED ON IT, telling my Dad, “Just a clog, it’s loose now.” No matter how many times I tell THAT ONE, it doesn’t get any less gross.
The last story is Once Upon A Time (like, on Friday), I dyed pink streaks into my hair.
Everyone who saw it hated it except me. The End.