Dear Matt,

Remember this morning, when we were in the shower and I was trying to close my conditioner and it slipped out of my hands and I dropped it on your foot, with force, because I was pushing down on the lid? I’m really sorry I laughed so hard at you while you were in pain, but I have to say, today has been incredibly frustrating and it helps that every time I remember the sight of that little green plastic bomb slamming down onto your toes, I start laughing all over again.

In conclusion: Yes, your girlfriend is an asshole, but thanks for being so damn funny.

Love,

Jamie

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