My bladder woke me up at 6:30 a.m. today, and I almost got dressed and took a walk, then decided to see if I could drift off for another hour or so.

I’m really glad I did. I’ve had a few dreams about my mom in the (almost) five years since she died, but always end up frustrated, because in the dream, I forget she’s dead. I wake up regretting the chance to give her a hug and tell her I love her and how hard it is, sometimes, to keep going now that she’s gone.

But for whatever reason, this morning, I realized the truth within the dream. For the first time in five years, I hugged my mom long and hard, and told her I miss her. She told me she misses me, too.

I’ve spent so much time wishing she was here. But somehow, it never even occurred to me that she might be out there, somewhere, missing me just as much.

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