Hey, look at me!

She has requested a Big Gulp of pomogranate wine when I come to pick her up. I just might honor that request.

I went to a BBQ with a keg Saturday night.

Ways it was different from college keggers:

Slightly better beer (Amber Bock)
Much higher percentage of married couples in attendance
No lines for beer
Bathroom always had toilet paper

Ways it was exactly the same as college keggers:

Hour of Power
Kegstands

Probably the biggest difference was the food. The grillmaster grilled up an [...]

Me. Want. DEATHCAKE!

Unfortunately, me could not possibly live farther away from Deathcake.

Instead, me go home and make a Sadcake.

My buddy was trying to tell me something about a “Butch Dyke” but he kept making a typo and saying “Dutch Dyke.” Now, I can’t get the visions to leave my head… Blond, braided lesbians getting it on among the tulips and windmills, their wooden shoes knocking together, making sounds like windchimes…

Hi there, men of the world!

It must be exhausting, to be constantly told by retailers this time of year what an idiot you are when it comes to choosing gifts. I heard a commercial on the radio this morning, listing all the qualities of a fantastic Valentine’s Day gift, discussing the desires of men to [...]