3 Down, 0 To Go
Wanna see a good-lookin’ family? Okay, here you go:
Yeah, I’m biased, because that’s me, second from the right. (Clicking the Family Photo will take you to the entire photoset – those are just samples, below.)
I really love living in Florida, but one of the very first items on the “Cons” list is that I’m really far from my entire family – Dad, Mollie, and Carrie. But we got to close that gap for a couple of days this past weekend, when I flew up north to see Mollie graduate from college. She makes us 3 for 3 when it comes to college educations – my mom is smiling, somewhere.
We may look all sweet and innocent in that photo, but that was taken shortly after we cracked open the bucket of mango mojitos, so you know things went a little haywire from there. Let me take you along for the ride.
Step 1: Get Mollie graduated. Check.
Ceremony Highlights:
*During the first prayer, the university president, in front of the entire audience, whipped out a comb and started grooming his hair. NOT EVERYONE CLOSES THEIR EYES DURING THE PRAYER, DUDE.
*This guy’s head.
How does he get it so shiny? My sister’s boyfriend was seated directly behind Ol’ Gleaming Skull, and said it was so distracting – he kept picturing his wife going at his noggin with a buffing cloth before Mr. Clean left the house.
*The university dude who stood at the pulpit and DIRECTED us as we sang the hymns. For a second, I was confused – is there a choir in the front I can’t see? Nope. He was orchastrating the entire audience. What a pompous ass.
*When they announced Mollie’s name, I yelled, “YEAH, MOLLIE!” and sure, some people laughed, but Mollie said I was the only one she heard. I’m not afraid of the Nazarenes. Much.
Next, it was time to take a million family photos, a sample above. Then, time to get food in our bellies.
Check. Only Mollie can look so pretty eating a bowl of French Onion Soup.
Want some cake?
Jason says cake is “A-OK.”
That was right before Jason spent forever trying to decide on an apertif, then said, “Eh… just bring me another scotch.” That is when we all knew it was going to be an awesome night.
True to the foreshadowing, it got even more awesome when we decided the only thing to do after dinner was go bowling in our dress clothes.
Well, Mollie cheated and changed into jeans, but I will show you a photo of her bowling technique, anyway.
Go ahead and laugh, but she got more strikes than any of us.
Well, that wasn’t hard. SOME people had a hard time making it back from the bar while carrying a pitcher of beer without running into anything, so any bowling achievements are dubious at best. (I’m looking at YOU, Mr. “High Score Both Games” Dad.)
Now that she’s a college graduate, Mollie’s not going to let a little thing like her “turn to bowl” keep her from an important cell phone conversation.
At one point, Jason went to get a refill pitcher and came back empty-handed… because the bartender was in the middle of her karaoke song. This paved the way for our after-bowling activity – dancing to locals singing country songs on karaoke.
Seriously, no one has more fun than us.
All this went down on Saturday, and Sunday was my day to depart.
First, a visit with Mollie’s dogs.
Then, a stop by The Pink Cupcake, because if you think I’m visiting a town with a shop called The Pink Cupcake and then not going there, well, frankly, I don’t know if you people really know me at all.
My flight home included a 3-hour layover in Detroit, paving the way for me to hook up with two of my best Noisies, Rooey and KarenD.
I was really excited to meet them, and found my way out of the security zone and into the restaurant, which was kind of crazy. Big rainforest, meditation pool, and a waiter that was either vaguely insulting, or flirting with me – I can’t decide. Also got to meet Rooey’s husband, and the two of them are so cute I almost threw myself into the pond because I JUST COULDN’T STAND IT. I’m only kidding.
We talked and laughed a lot and I drank 3 vodka & tonics in the hope it would knock me out for the duration of my second flight – of course, that backfired, and I just sat there all buzzed and tired, the whole way home.
But really, that’s not a bad way to be.