There are some nights when you hole the fuck up in your shell. But there are some nights when you befriend a proud macaw owner and get on the back of a man’s motorcycle and you say “Where’s my helmet?” and he says “I don’t even wear a helmet” and the next thing you know you’re on the back of a motorcycle thinking, “If my dad knew about this he would fucking KILL ME but your crotch is vibrating and damn, you’re not just having fun with the motorcycle thing, but you are kicking that giant black man’s ass at pool. AGAIN.”

Well. Good luck at THAT.

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