My boyfriend Matt is quite simply the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. There might be a top 5 somewhere, but he’s easily better than all of them combined. Try not to be too jealous mighty internet because you do not have Matt as your boyfriend. If however you happen to have a boyfriend who is also named Matt, do not smile to yourself thinking that you have the Matt because you don’t. Sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news, but someone had to do it.

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